silence and honesty

Can you hear me mouthing that three words silently by the end of the line?
Because I did.
and it's the most honest yet silent, 3 words in one sentence that I ever uttered in my life.

pens and tissues

I stopped my car in front of his house. And just like every other day, to call or text him telling that I am there, waiting for him is impossible, as my line is barred due to the outstanding amount of bill that I kept a secret from my mom. 

My thoughts lingered to the happenings a few minutes ago.

I was furious. Yes, furious. I was hungry, very hungry. and I was having my period. 

I was waiting for Keet to come back from his badminton game with his friends, so that we could go dinner together. And he's been gone since god knows when, and yet not a single text was received explaining 'this'.

I off and on my phone, a few times. In hopes that he called. A habit that I picked up, since way back, whenever I am waiting for a call or text from a guy. 

It was 10.30 pm, when the phone buzzed. 

No, I am not going to dinner with this guy, I decided to pretend that I am sleeping, 'biar padan muka, siapa suruh lambat, muahaha' an evil thought crossed my mind.

the phone continued on buzzing, and stopped for awhile. I pick up the phone, '2 missed calls'.

and followed by a whatsapp text.

'baby..'

dont 'baby' me.

'baaaabyyyy'...

again, don't 'baby' me..

'don't tell me you fell asleep'

shit, I'm freaking hungry...

So I replied. 

And here I am now, waiting for him. As if, like he knows I am outside waiting for him, he came out from the house, locking the door and gates behind him.

' Hey, I am wearing you favorite tshirt, and your favorite perfume, can smell or not?'

Shit that smile. *melts

' And I brought tissues because your car have none.' 

' And here's a bunch of pens, since you kept borrowing from people and lost them all the time, SO stop borrowing people's pen okay..'

Oh god. He just knows how to pujuk me.

Love you baby.

Lifemaths.

To equal 'we' with 'forever', is an impossible calculation without a solution.


But I still have hopes. and that is very selfish of me, I know.

But what are we humans without hopes? and dreams? and goals? and that one tiny fragment of imagination of settling down with the one you loved.









I was never good in maths. Maths was never in my favor. In fact I hate maths. Don't you?

After a while...

After a while.
I found a guy who cared about me.
Bought me water, when I am thirsty.
Bought me lip balm, because I have dry lips,
Walked with me, just for the sake of having short walks.
Walked me to my car, without failing no matter how far the car was parked from our college.
A health conscious person who ate junk food, just because I asked him to have a taste,
Tells me that I am beautiful, when I know my beauty is way below average,
Tell me that I am just the right size when I do need to lose a couple of pounds,
Tells me I am pretty with my tudung, when I look just like everyone else,
Borrowed me his laptop, when mine can't be used even when we both have to finish our assignment,
Talks, having long talks because we have awesome talks,
stay up till morning until he fell asleep just for the sake of talking,
Wakes me up for sahur everyday without failing, even though he's not fasting, even though he's from a different religion,
Kept waking me up for sahur everyday even though I didn't actually wake up,
Constantly say things that no guys said to me before..
Constantly do things that no guys ever did for me before..
and now he's leaving to India.

and shall I say, my world around me is about to collapse.. Once you take that one flight to India.

K.

To K.

'It's not a walk in the park, to love each other.'
Paramore, Still Into You.

We're different. Totally different. But this doesn't mean that we can never give this a chance, nor that we should see the future as a dead end. 

Our story is just about to start. And I am excited to see the outcomes of it.

Aren't you?

<3

A new home for a new beginning.

Our car pulled over at a road, with a sign named 'Jalan Rajaratnam'. The road opens into a calm neighbourhood, and yes, you can still feel the calmness despite of Ipoh's blazing weather.

We waited for a while for the agent to come with the keys. Outside, a yellowish, brownish one- storey house is waiting for us to step our feet on it.

When the agent came, he looked like he was in a rush. A small nod, with a short hello were the only thing that greet us.

He took out the keys, while we slowly followed him from behind.

The house looked cleaned, despite of it's age.
he's inserting the key into the keyhole, with a hasty move.
The windows are one of the things that an antique lover like me would go crazy for.
He opened the locked that secure the old fashioned door; the type that reminds you of old halls and empty classrooms.
I can smell new paint all over, a sign of good maintenance.
He swiftly opened the door enabling us to see, what is inside.


And as I look around... I feel once at home. :)

A friend :)

It's like, when we're together,

The feeling is infinite. 

Well, not that infinite. I can't think of any good intros here. har- har.

But throughout, I enjoyed his company. Our long conversations. Gossips. His annoyingness. Our search for a good place to eat. Laughing at each other break up stories. Teasing about each other exes. And the list goes on.

He's a friend that I can't bear to loose. 

and I mean it.

Love you. and may the sun light up our path for the years to come. Cheers.